Joy and Despair: Adventure’s Irreplaceable Lessons

Despair

Some years ago I finally made it to Ruth in AK. It had been an important personal objective. Kind of an obsession. I spent all my savings, got a bunch of gear and snacks and committed. One of the many climbs we did there went bad. We sumitted a 14 pitch route in a good time, but ignored the building storm happening on the Moose's Tooth side of the Ruth. The descent was a bit dramatic, while the rock quickly covered with berglass, our bodies got cold, gear got frozen and ropes got stuck with the wind. Without being able to keep abseiling down into ‘safety’ (we still had to cross the Ruth Glacier into BC), we had to make a move. React, or freeze. I don't fully remember all the shenanigans we had to endure, but I do remember I had to risk some wet unprotected soloing to retrieve our ropes, aid up, free climb, clean ice out of cracks, and finally prusik my way up to untie a knot. Those moves probably saved our lives. Once down after twice the hours that the ascent took, we crumbled into exhaustion in the base of the wall. Our boots were under snow, no other option but to put frozen boots on, move fast to avoid AV danger, and cross a glacier in a whiteout with no track or bearing. On the day I had no GPS. But eventually, following nothing more than some survival instincts and hope, we collapsed inside our Mountain 25 tent.

Joy

Waking up the next morning was insane. Sensed a feeling of awareness (most times unexplainable for those who haven't ever climbed), some warmth, and good kind of hunger and thirst. The immensity of Ruth straight ahead from our BC in without a more accurate word, colossal. There's this strange surrounding feeling when staring at the mountains from the safety of camp after almost getting killed. In some way it brings a feeling similar to being proud of an achievement; in some other ways it brings a somewhat foolish stance that gets the typical excuse of ‘I'm a crazy person’. But in even other ways it brings a very natural feeling of enduring. This comes very close to a feeling of success, or achieving something, but in the same feeling with an obscure component of this is f…d up. I guess in this weird mix, one definitely achieves something irreplaceable for sure: experience.

Never underestimate the mountain, never underestimate the storm. Push through when you have to. Keep moving cause if you don't or you can't, you're f…..Treasure moments of joy and “safety”, of free climbing in sunny skies and no wind. Never forget what you've endured, and never forget who you are, and never forget that at least once in the mountain life, your skills will be put to the test.
 Thanks to Parker Smith whom I climbed during this adventure.

“The simple fact is this: when you go to Alaska, you get your ass kicked” - Mark Twight

This trip ended up with an unplanned travel to the Wind River Range where I had a ‘baby’ accident that ending up costing me a lot of time and effort, but gave me very valuable lesson. Thankful it happened when it did.
Check out the story on the Sharp End Podcast by de American Alpine Club in the following link:

https://soundcloud.com/the_sharp_end/ego-dangers